rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
