i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
