You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
