is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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