I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
