Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
