i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
