You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
