i can't believe i had my finger in that
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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