The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
