I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
