So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
