I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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