considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize