all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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