so explain again why im purple
no
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
