By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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