yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
