awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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