I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
