The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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