the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
