Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
