Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
