i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
