Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
