I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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