I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
