Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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