Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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