Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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