I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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