it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
