i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
he high fived his dick after we had sex
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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