He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
