I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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