My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
