my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
