Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
