It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
