i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
