My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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