i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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