So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize