those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
