i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
