i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
