My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
