I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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