9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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