don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
