bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
