shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
