Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
