dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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