it hurts more in the daytime
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
