Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
