so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
