dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
smell my finger.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
What a dumb baby whore.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
