You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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