its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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