a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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