Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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