it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
home. puking in laundry basket.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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