Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize