If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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