he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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