Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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