UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
