You really coming over, don't trick.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
