We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize